I feel like this should be more a Database File but hey, who am I? Oh yeah, the commander. Get this into the database, no one uses hard copies of documents anymore. It's 20██, get with the times! Assimilate!

Foreword by GC/SN Command: On █-██-████, an investigation was launched into the continued viability of Anomaly TB-5638. Several factors were taken into account, such as the relative danger involved in sustained containment and cost-benefit of the costly procurement of virgin blood and pederasty on a regular basis. In conclusion, a unanimous decision to terminate Anomaly TB-5638 was made amongst the High Command, and handed down to CMPND-Pi administrators. After researching the difficulties involved in terminating a regenerating, superhuman Muslim, the termination was set in motion. The man chosen for the task was an old standby, a man of great experience and expertise in the elimination of humanoid objects of great destructive potential. Known for his clean, almost surgical method, he was quickly approved to carry out the termination.

Unfortunately, he was not available.

Despite urging from peers and subordinates, Dr. ████████ Kondri was chosen to perform the termination. After giving himself the proper clearance and approval to do so through a loophole he had found in relevant regulations, High Command grudgingly accepted his self-appointment. Sgt. Thomas assuaged the board’s fears with Dr. Kondri impressive credentials, and claimed that given such an important responsibility, he might finally take his position seriously.

He was incorrect.

Included below are the relevant logs and documentation concerning the termination.

Dr. Kondri: Well, isn’t this a nice little accommodation. They treat you well...real well for something out of a Bram Stoker novel.

Anomaly TB-5638 takes the seat across from him.

Anomaly TB-5638: Well, I must be doing something right doctor…you know, come to think of it I don’t think I’ve seen you around.

Dr. Kondri: Good, you shouldn’t have. Now, let’s get on with this interview already, I’ve got better things to do than chat with a bloodsucker...or a cocksucker.

Anomaly TB-5638: I’m not calling you on your diet, am I? Besides, I asked for the interview, and as you know I do get what I want.

Dr. Kondri: Sure. Although I remember that you requested a woman, hope you’re not too disappointed, Muzzie.

Dr. Kondri proceeds to light a cigarette, and produces a container of a specially treated fluid. In the pre-termination report, Dr. Kondri did not specify the contents for security reasons.

Anomaly TB-5638: I can’t say I’m pleased to accept a brutish specimen of humanity such as yourself, over a lovely morsel of femininity. Don’t worry, I’ll just have to make it up with Ms. ██████ once we’re finished here.

Dr. Kondri proceeds to unscrew the top from the container, and sets it to the side. Anomaly TB-5638 appears to recoil from the smell.

Agent Drefin stepped forward to frisk Doctor Kondri. He swiftly liberated a hand gun from Kondri's person.

Agent Drefin: Sorry sir, this isn't authorized.

Dr. Kondri: Right, whatever. So, why don’t you tell me about yourself, Muz? Are you the mythical force of darkness that plagues the psyche of humanity, or are you just a spoiled manchild playing vampire?

Anomaly TB-5638: I don’t think I like your attitude doctor. Or your lack of respect.

Dr. Kondri: Funny, I don’t recall requiring kindness to a sand nigger.

Dr. Kondri proceeds to grab the container, and splash the liquid onto Anomaly TB-5638, far before containment teams and backup agents could get into position.

Anomaly TB-5638: Allah alive! This smells horrible! The fuck is this?!

Dr. Kondri: Cat urine, garlic juice, and a little bit of matzo ball soup.

Dr. Kondri flips the collapsable table up into Anomaly TB-5638, and grabs a firearm from under the table, muttering about 'Always keeping a backup'. He discharges his handgun seven times into TB-5638's chest and neck, before producing a wooden stake from his lab coat. The bullets were confirmed to be comprised of a silver alloy. None of these actions had been planned or approved.

Anomaly TB-5638: God dammit man, I'm not a vampire! I'm just a Muslim!

Dr. Kondri: That means nothing to me!

Dr. Kondri proceeds to pull out a Bible from his lab coat and opens it.

Dr. Kondri: Read nigga, read!

Security teams enter the room and tackle Dr. Kondri

Oh that fucker actually did that?? Dammit! I just lost five grand!

> Hallway is empty.

> Hallway is empty.

> Security teams are seen entering hallway, retreating

> Security teams clear camera view

> Dr. Kondri is seen entering hallway, retreating

> Dr. Kondri clears camera view

> Hallway is empty.

> Anomaly TB-5638 is seen entering hallway, pursuing

> Anomaly TB-5638 clears camera view

> Alarm activated

It was at this point, as Dr. Kondri exited the area with TB-5638 in pursuit, security teams arrived to attempt to restore containment. The termination attempt had been considered a failure by command and the orders were limited to damage control. Unfortunately, the other security teams were still en route, and were never able to assist. If the order hadn’t gone out to evacuate all anomalies from the sector, they might have been able to.

> Containment chamber of Anomaly XJ-9041 disengaged, loaded onto mover.

> Large dent appears in containment cube

> Large dent begins bending outward. The dent becomes larger before breaking.

> Anomaly XJ-9041 is seen bending the steel away, frantically trying to escape. Emergency plates drop on the cube as a containment breach is sounded.

> Anomaly XJ-9041 breaches containment


Dr. Kondri makes it to a three way intersection before TB-5638 begins to catch up. A forklift moving a large metal box is moving up the incline directly to Dr. Kondri's right.

TB-5638 rounds the corner, but impacts the forklift which had been maneuvered to block the hall. Dr. Kondri is seen at the door of a central staircase. At this time, they were on the 15th floor of the facility. TB-5638 proceeds to throw the metal box in a fit of frustration, before beginning to move the forklift.

Dr. Kondri flees down the staircase. The metal box opens as it impacts the ceiling, and a large, disheveled ball of metal objects is dislodged and begins rolling down the incline.

Security Team 2 arrives by way of the central staircase to Anomaly TB-5638’s current location. Some loud audible noise is apparently heard, security teams, TB-5638, and Kondri take notice. An unknown lab worker is seen entering the area, slamming the door, and running past screaming. Anomaly XJ-9041 is observed breaking down the door. Dr. Kondri passes Security Team 2.

Contact with Security Team 2 lost.


Commander: Fucking shit, we really need to put Kondri in a better suited environment...

Interviewer: We need to put a damn bullet in his brain!

Commander: Now now, Kondri is still a valuable member of this staff. Judging by what he did, he must've had a plan.

Interviewer: Yeah no. He was...sort of winging it.

Commander: Impossible, the quickest of quick thinkers couldn't do the things he did without some sort of plan.

Interviewer: I have here a copy of Dr. Kondri termination procedure proposal. Step one is his plan to use cat urine and a pistol loaded with silver bullets. Backup plans two, three, four, And five are listed as, and I quote, 'Wing It,' 'Make Something Up,' 'Cross That Bridge When I Come To It,' and 'Put My Head Between My Knees And Kiss My Ass Goodbye.'

Commander: Are you fucking kidding m-

(recording device momentarily fails)

"We’re coming up the staircase now, to TB-5638’s last known location. Sounds of a struggle are coming from above, our intel must be spot on."

"He really screwed the pooch on this one. Garlic piss, where does he get that?"

"Quiet on the approach, Six."

"Sir, incoming subject, humanoid!"

"It’s…he’s in a lab coat, it’s not Duke. He’s running straight at us, sir, neutralize him?"

"Ready subdermal electroneutralizers, on my…what the hell is that noise?"

"fuck fuck fuck shit fuck dammit shit fuck! Get the hell out of the way, run for your fucking lives!"

"He’s taking off down the stairs, must have been Dr. Kondri! But I don’t see TB-5638!"

"No contact, continue up the st-"

"What the hell is that!? It’s…massive!"

"Open fire, open fir-"

"It just crushed him! Get out of here, ge-"

Dr. Kondri recovers and dons a pair of converse sneakers, recovered from Yellow object containment. Dr. Kondri appears to move at an accelerated pace. Exits containment sector, heading down Hallway D-3.

TB-5638 continues pursuit of Dr. Kondri, ruining the containment sector. Is unable to catch Dr. Kondri due to his enhanced speed, but is able to make up time by bypassing walls in his path. Physically.

Dr. Kondri begins to move towards the Black containment sector, his clearance bypassing the automated security systems. Proceeds to next checkpoint. All Security Teams are alerted to the situation.

TB-5638 is slowed by the security checkpoints, and further resistance by site security. TB-5638’s regeneration is able to keep up with any wounds inflicted. Site put on full alert, and all forces are redirected to Black containment.

Dr. Kondri continues to pass through checkpoints. Arrives in a large containment room with a single door opposite to the entrance. Dr.Kondri's security clearance is unable to clear the last checkpoint. He pulls an object from his coat, resembling a conical object with a pistol grip.

TB-5638 arrives in the room. Looks confused, proceeds into the center of the room. Dr. Kondri no longer visible. TB-5638 approaches the lone door.

Dr. Kondri's voice is detected, somehow revealing him standing near the entrance to the room. A verbal exchange is observed, before Dr. Kondri speaks into the hand held object (visuals confirm it to be a megaphone of insignificant make).

Tremors begin to rock the area, and several stress fractures are opened on the wall with the door.

Phenomenon #941 breaches containment.


The fuck was that? Why is the room shaking?





Sgt. Thomas: Reckless is a relative term. Viewed purely from the vantage point of a termination test carried out against a nearly-invulnerable humanoid object, Dr. Kondri's test achieved only a low to medium degree of collateral damage.

Interviewer: So you feel that Dr. Kondri's actions were acceptable?

Sgt. Thomas: Hey, he achieved his intended goal. However, the loss of manpower, multiple containment breaches, widespread damage and general lack of planning represent a gross oversight on the part of Dr. Kondri.

Interviewer: Demolishing a good chunk of a site is a little more than oversight in planning.

Sgt. Thomas: …Sir, if I may say, I think we are focusing on the wrong direction. We assume that Dr. Kondri is a “loose cannon”, a person who is reckless and puts zero foresight into anything he does. However, this is a narrow and dangerous assumption.

Interviewer: What...are you talking about?

Sgt. Thomas: The human brain has a tendency to view highly complex and rapid patterns as random events. I believe that Dr. Kondri used the termination of TB-5638 as an excuse, and the resulting highly destructive “chase” and containment breaches as a distraction.

Interviewer: So you’re saying…he planned it?

Sgt. Thomas: Not in a traditional sense. To use a mathematical example, he started with the solution, and worked backwards to create the problem. The multiple containment failures, the evacuation of items, TB-5638 and its attacks on site staff, all these stretched the resources of Pi to a dangerously thin level. This allowed him to achieve what I hypothesize to be his true goal.

Interviewer: …which would be?

Sgt. Thomas: To ride XJ-9041.


Commander: WAIT, WHAT?!


Dr. Kondri: Oh God I cannot wait to see your face! [Gestures to the megaphone] But first, why don’t we invite our friend out from his little room?

Dr. Kondri begins screaming a series of obscenities into the megaphone. Anomaly TB-5638 attempts to cover his ears to no effect.

'TB-5638: What are yo-

[Chuckling and sounds of buckling metal and cracking concrete fill the air]

TB-5638: [Looks behind him] You son of a-!


> Dr. Kondri seen fleeing #941 containment.

> TB-5638 attempts engaging Phenomenon #941

> Phenomenon #941 is seen infecting TB-5638

> TB-5638 attempts to flee, is impeded by accelerated infection

> Infection complete

> TB-5638 disintegrates

> TB-5638 terminated

> Anomaly XJ-9041 observed attempting to override security locks to escape compound

> Kondri is observed sneaking up on XJ-9041 with a saddle

> Kondri ensnares XJ-9041 and secures the saddle

> Kondri forces XJ-9041 to rear

> XJ-9041 and Kondri breach quarantine, full evac protocol initiates

Dr. Kondri is observed to speak to XJ-9041, and a series of growls are recorded matching XJ-9041’s “voice”.

XJ-9041 begins to crash its back into walls and ceilings, trying to crush the doctor. The apparent conversation continues.

Dr. Kondri appears to laugh, and then make another harsh tug. He redirects XJ-9041 once more, to the personnel cafeteria, after checking a device on his wrist.

XJ-9041 crashes through the second quarantine dividers, and arrives in the personnel sector.

Dr. Kondri waits until XJ-9041 arrives in the cafeteria. Holding onto the cables, he vaults forwards with tremendous force, swinging up and over XJ-9041’s head.

XJ-9041 now attempts to bite down on Dr. Kondri as he scrambles to sit in a lone chair placed at the end of a table.

Dr. Kondri vanishes from visual contact as XJ-9041 devours him.

XJ-9041 continues to cause further structural damage. Begins advancing towards current evacuation zone.

Audio Log 682-K

Dr. Kondri: You really hold a grudge, don’t you?

Anomaly XJ-9041: You are by far…the most annoying of your…"species" I have ever encountered. Killing you will be a favor for your whole reality.

Dr. Kondri: No need to do me any favors, Godzilla, since you made lunch of the vampire. Why don’t we just let me off and call things square?

Sounds of crunching concrete and stressed metal

Dr. Kondri: I guess that’s not an option. How about you just take me to my ride, and I’ll get out of your hair?

Anomaly XJ-9041: Not only the most annoying, but the one most lacking of common sense. The only way this ends is with you dead and rotting faster than you already are.

Dr. Kondri: Fair enough, let’s try that.

Anomaly XJ-9041: That may be the first thing I've ever heard from one of you repulsive…things that I've agreed with.

The sound of metal scraping against enamel cancels out any conversation. A sickening snap of Anomaly XJ-9041's arms concludes the recording.

> All specimens of Phenomenon #941 are observed moving towards Gate D

> Phenomenon #061 observed obstructing path

> Camera records flashes

> Phenomenon #941 recontained

> Phenomenon #061 walks out of camera view


Commander: So...why'd you do it?

Kondri: Cuz I felt like it.

Commander: I think it's more because you're obsessed with XJ-9041

Kondri: I'm not obsessed.

Commander: Kondri, I know everything. Why we inducted XJ-9041 so fast, what happened during the interviews, what you saw. I think you're getting too attached to it. You need to lay off. Here's your slip, your suspended. You're not fit for work. Get better.

(Commander leaves. Kondri is not observed moving until several hours after conversation concluded)